


Criminals

by Crimsonyxx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes and the 21st Century, Bucky Barnes's Diary, Bucky Barnes's Notebooks, Bucky Barnes's Plums, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hydra (Marvel), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-HYDRA Reveal, Romance, slight comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7590505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crimsonyxx/pseuds/Crimsonyxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you felt that you've traveled for a safe distance, you got out from the car and started walking. You didn't know where to go. You only hoped that there's someone kind and dumb enough to help a criminal like you. Your steps became heavier the more you walked and your vision blurred. The street was dark and quiet. What have you gotten yourself into? This neighborhood was awfully secluded. You traveled so far you didn't even know where you were right now. </p><p>Before long, a silhouette appeared. You tried focusing your eyes, trying to see who it was. </p><p> </p><p>And it made your heart sunk a thousand feet below.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Man From The Supermarket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay! so here's a new series from me! Hope you guys enjoy it! And don't worry I'm not neglecting The Winter In Us. Just need to refresh myself for the future chapters if that makes sense?
> 
> Without further ado let's just jump into it!

**One step. Two steps. Three steps.**

**Breath in. And out. In. And out.**

**Blend in.**

**A woman on the side of the road. Old man on the other side.**

**Kids running towards you.**

**Move.**

**That's it. That's good.**

**Just stay cool.**

**Watch out for them. They could be anywhere.**

**Never let your guard down.**

Snorting slightly, Bucky continued his walk on the not so crowded street. Stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. Eyes darting here and there. His shoulder tense. His expression grim. The cap overshadowed his features. He certainly looked like a wild dog on a lookout. He's been so restless ever since they almost got him the other day. Sure he immediately moved to rent a different place. But he couldn't risk it by lowering his guard down. Not now. Not later. He only went out from his apartment to buy some supplies because they were running low. A casual walk to the supermarket was never this tense. 

Finally entering the place, Bucky immediately rushed to the fruits and vegetables section. Quickly examining the crops before putting them in the cart. 

**Plums are a must.**

Next was to buy a few new clothes. His old ones were becoming too shabby for his liking, so he figured that buying a couple of new ones wouldn't hurt. Especially if the piece was on sale. 

He was on the way to the men section before a loud bang resonated in the air. Screams and shouts soon emerged from the store. Bucky’s heartbeat quickly picked its pace up. All sorts of negative thoughts swarmed into his head.

**Did they follow me all the way here?**

**Shit.**

**Oh no.**

**Just no.**

Sweats starting to creep on his forehead. His breaths came out harsh. Cautiously walking to the source of the sound, Bucky was more than relieved to see that it wasn't those men he imagined it to be. But still the situation wasn't any better. These men before him were carrying guns. Machine guns, rifles, and all sort of things his military knowledge could point out. Licking his dry lips, Bucky got two options on the top of his head. 

The first one was to escape this whole mess, keeping him safe from the media. Ensuring his safety from whoever was trying to find him. Be it HYDRA or the officials. 

And the second one was to stop them. 

Not a very appealing idea if he had to admit.

With his experience as the infamous winter soldier, he absolutely has the strength to take down those guys all by himself. And there was only like, what four people at the most? It surely wouldn’t be that hard to knock them all out.

While Bucky was busy contemplating on his choices, his inner struggles, a round of gunshots were fired along with several shouting and screams. 

"Shut your fucking mouths dumbasses! Or Imma shoot you one by one!" 

The tone of the voice startled him because it sounded rather... girlish? He took one good look at the owner of the voice. And yes, compared to the others, this one was definitely smaller and had a slimmer built. It shook him that woman of this era now was up to that kinda act. Back on his days, he woulda never thought of that for even one second. And plus, the woman before him seemed to be the leader. Her demeanor showed that pretty well. 

The group was busily raiding the place, pointing guns at the cashier and frantically grabbed all the money from the register. Threatening everyone who dared to defy them. One of the workers there was already shot. Red blood staining his pants. As tempting as it would be to just wait and let the oh so obviously not late policemen to do their work, Bucky couldn't just let them walk away. 

He knew too well that he himself wasn't a good man. 

He was much more worse. 

He’d done many unspeakable things. 

Inhuman things.

And he knew he didn't have the right to lecture people to stop doing evil deeds. 

But he just couldn't let it slide.

If he could redeem for the things he'd done, he'd be more than willing to do so. 

**At least these people are safe.**

Sighing loudly, Bucky stood from the hiding spot, raising his hand in the air giving away the defenseless image. And the act he put up was certainly noticed by the woman. 

"Whoa there. Stay where you are mister." 

Bucky narrowed his orbs to meet hers. She was wearing a mask to conceal her face but it only covered her lower half. Giving him full access of her (e/c) eyes. 

"Believe me. You don't want to do this." He took another step forward. Hands still up in the air. And he was instantly greeted with a few bullets just right in front of his feet.

**Bloody hell.**

"I said fucking stay where you at!" She growled the words out of her lungs. 

"C'mon man! Don't waste your time on some shitty hobo! Let's go!" 

"I’m comin’!" 

She threw one last glance at him while backing away slowly, gun still pointing at his figure. When she thought she’s far enough, she immediately turned her back and scurried away.

**Now's my chance.**

Bucky quickly sprinted forward, tackling her body from behind. He didn't spare her any time to react. 

"What the fuck-"

He swiftly got her gun away from her, the force knocking away her mask, making it fell onto the tiled floor. He locked her movements and shot the remaining men; at their legs and arms to be precise. Leaving all of them immobile without killing them. He did it with perfect precision and moves, not wasting even a single bit of it. The woman was still hopelessly caged in his arm.

"You bastard!" 

She screamed and struggled but to no avail. Bucky's arms were circled around her body in a vice grip. 

"Let me go you sick hobo!" She shouted angrily. Throwing punches at his body aimlessly. 

"That's kinda rude to say isn't it doll?" he half whispered on her ear.

Those line escaped his lips without his own consent and Bucky cursed himself inwardly. He knew that people these days doesn't use that kind of term anymore but he couldn't help it. 

Her eyebrows furrowed considerably at his chose of words. 

"D-doll? What the- what are you? A pedophile?!" Her screaming became more frantic and outrageous. But he still held her firmly in his arms. 

Soon, faint sirens could be heard from outside the building.

**It’s the police.**

"Let me go! Let.me.fucking.go!" she wiggled and stirred. But Bucky didn't even budge. 

Realizing her methods were useless she finally decided on something she would never even think about in her lifetime. In one quick move, she turned her body to face her captor. And she was undeniably stunned. 

A set of steel blue eyes staring back at her. Deep brown shoulder length hair framing his face perfectly. His cap shadowing his features slightly. His face was sculpted to perfection. 

He's seriously too perfect for a man. 

Deciding it was the perfect time to commence her action, she immediately closed her distance with the unknown man. Crashing her lips onto his slightly chapped one. Feeling its softness against her own. 

Bucky was obviously shocked at this. Eyes widened considerably and body stiff as a statue. He unconsciously loosened his grip at her body. 

Exactly what she's been aiming for.

Mustering all of her power, she pushed him away, parting her body and lips from the man. Grunting loudly in the process. She wiped her lips with the back of her hand all the while glaring daggers towards him. 

The (h/c) haired women immediately ran to one of her companion, snatched the money bag off him and fled to another exit in the building. The process was so quick that it happened in a flash. But maybe it’s because Bucky himself was still struck by the kiss he received. 

Women of this age... they're somewhat fiercer than he'd thought. 

There was a moment of silence, at least for Bucky, because he just stood there without moving an inch.

And he might just let her escape willingly because he could chase her and capture her all over again.

But he didn’t. 

**Maybe it's for the best.**

He felt like it wasn't his place to do it. And plus he was no hero. He didn’t have the authority nor the will to do so. He knew that perfectly well. 

**Acting all clean and full of justice when you, yourself was tainted? Get real, Buck.**

Grabbing his good 'ol plums and vegetables, Bucky took quick steps to the cashier, placed a few dollars there before leaving the supermarket. Eager to avoid the policemen. 

Adjusting his cap slightly, he walked down the roads again. 

 

Today's event’s definitely worth a page in the journal.

~*~

"You useless bitch!"

A fist flew into your direction. You could easily dodge it. You're perfectly capable of doing so. But you didn't. You let it hit your face, resulting in a harsh pain on your left cheek. 

You could literally taste the metallic blood in your mouth. 

"Just one fucking job and you couldn't do it right?!" 

The man before you shouted again. Eyebrows furrowed in rage. 

You're sick of it. 

Sick of him. 

Sick of this damn world. 

Spitting the blood from your mouth, you spoke through gritted teeth. 

"But I got the money." 

"Yeah and all of my men ended up in jail. And whose fault is that?" The man raised his voice. 

"I wouldn't know if there's a fuckin’ powerful bastard in the supermarket!" You huffed loudly. 

"The deal is done. I got the money. Now I'm leaving." You snarled at him. Your boss. Oh God how you hated him. His face his voice even his fucking hair. You're tired of this shit. His shit. 

You started to walk away when he grabbed your left arm and yanked your body towards him. 

"You think you could just walk away like that?" Your expression darkened as you freed your arm from him viciously. 

"Bet I can. The deal is over. This is my last job. I'm. Fucking. Leaving." Emphasizing the last three words, you spoke in a very low tone that startled even yourself. It’s confirmed that you really hated the guy. 

Your boss took a step backwards, a smirk slowly appeared on his face. 

"Sure. Sure you can little (y/n).”

He eyed you with those arrogant orbs.

“But can you escape them?" 

Your eyes immediately widened as you heard sound of sirens in the distance. 

The fucking police! Just how- 

You glared at your superior. 

"What the fuck just happened?" he answered by chuckling darkly. Oh you didn't like where this was going. 

"Poor (y/n)... You didn't realize that the media already got a picture of your pretty face? All I have to do was post one picture of you here on the sns and they came around like ants." 

This fucking bastard! Your head boiled with rage. Eyes glaring holes on his face. 

"That's what you get for disrespecting me, little bitch. And for making my men go into jail. Now it's your time to meet them and say hello." 

He went closer to your face. Mouth still grinning all the while. His nose barely touching your own. The smell of cigarette apparent on his mouth. You just couldn't handle it anymore. Your hand itched to just punch this damn guy and beat the shit out of him. But the rustling sound of people approaching and the sirens getting louder and louder made you did other things. You chewed your bottom lip and searched the area for any possible escape route. 

"And because we've been such... a great friends over these past years... I'll leave you now so you could figure your way out of this mess, right?" He grinned ear to ear.

Mocking you. 

He was so full of himself. Thinking that there's no way you could've escaped. And you're oh so eager to prove him wrong. From the corner of your eye, you saw the car he's using to get here and probably to get out as well. Should you take the risk? Should you? There's a bodyguard in there. And two more near your boss. 

Ah screw it. 

You're dead any either way. 

You launched forward, grabbing your superior's body, locking his arms behind his back while pointing a gun that you kept hidden in the insides of your bomber jacket on his head. You're beyond thankful that he's reckless enough to let you did it. 

"No one moves or I'll blow his fucking head off!" You shouted. Your boss frantic in your arms, his own voice failing him. 

"Y-You wouldn't dare. You haven't even killed before little (y/n)." 

"Wanna test me bastard? Because I'll do it right here right now." You growled into his ear, pressing the head of your gun harder onto his head. Stuffs like this were a piece of cake for you. Because you’ve done it many times before. But that guy back in the supermarket? Damn that guy. What was he made of? Metal? Rock? His grip still stung until now. Not to say he's very- no like super strong. But he's also an innocent man too it seemed. Getting all rigid and stiff when you kissed him. Just the thought of it made you want to laugh. 

All three of the guards were pointing their guns at you right now. You scooted closer to the car, attempting to take it for your escape. 

"You idiots! Stop her!" 

"Don’t you even think about it!" You spoke in a threatening tone. The guards didn't budge thank God. When you're in front of the driver's door, you pushed your boss away from you and mercilessly shot his legs, making him fall on the ground. He screamed loudly.

**Take that you fucking bastard.**

You immediately went inside the vehicle. His bodyguard came running at him, but they still fired their guns at you. Thousands of bullets crashing into the window. You immediately hit the stirring wheel hard, lucky to have your boss car withstanding the bullets. But no matter how fast you rode, some of them still escaped and hit your arm. Blood started to pour from your wound. It's like you're stabbed with thousands of needles in the same spot. And it's burning like crazy. You gritted your teeth. 

You can do it (y/n) just a little bit more. 

You knew you couldn't go to the hospital or to your old apartment. Chances were the police already barricaded that whole place now that they've seen your face. Your mind started to swirl as your blood kept seeping out from you. Your breaths came out ragged. Soon, they'll found out about this car you took too. So you must abandon it somewhere. 

But where? 

Sweats started to show on your forehead. Glistening your face under the street lights. The sky was black. No stars were seen in them. It’s as if even the world was representing your own life. Dark. Without a spark of light or whatsoever. Your eyes were becoming extremely heavy and it's a huge effort to keep them from falling shut. Your vision blurred every now and then.

When you felt that you've traveled for a safe distance, you got out from the car and started walking. You didn't know where to go. You only hoped that there's someone kind and dumb enough to help a criminal like you. Your steps became heavier the more you walked and your vision blurred. The street was dark and quiet. What have you gotten yourself into? This neighborhood was awfully secluded. You traveled so far you didn't even know where you were right now. 

Before long, a silhouette appeared. You tried focusing your eyes, trying to see who it was. 

And it made your heart sunk a thousand feet below. 

It was the man from the supermarket. 

Oh shit. 

Why were you so damned in this world?! 

You hurriedly turned your direction attempting to avoid the man. But you're walking baby steps and it's getting harder and harder to stay awake.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice came to you. 

Damn it. 

Damn it all. 

You picked your pace up but it was no use. Your vision now was covered with black dots. Darkness consuming you slowly. 

"Hey-!" 

You couldn't hear anything more as you felt your body losing all of its energy. And soon, the world was completely black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I have ever written in my life *obnoxious laughing sounds* What do you guys think?
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Your support is vital for me ^^
> 
>  
> 
> sorry for any grammatical errors and typos! Constructive critics and suggestions are always welcome!


	2. Diary

You opened your eyes slowly, a dim lighting came into your line of vision. You blinked a couple times. Taking it all in. Your orbs darted left and right, trying to be familiar with the room you’re in. 

But wait.

This place doesn't look like your room... 

Your room wasn't this dark... and that curtain over there, since when did it become dark grey? 

It took seconds for you to realize that the place you're in wasn't yours. 

In fact, you've never been there at all. 

Where the hell are you?! 

You immediately got up and a sharp pain resonated in your left arm. You instinctively reached it with your right hand. Grabbing it gently. 

And it surprised you again. 

Why is it already wrapped up in bandages? 

Last time you remembered you were running away for your dear life and a man appeared. 

A man. 

From the supermarket. 

Your eyes widened upon realization. You gotta-

"You're finally awake?" You jumped slightly at the voice. 

It's him. 

Oh God why?

Soon, your captor and savior was standing in front of you. His face was tinted with a slight worry. That was, if you’re seeing things right. Why would he be worried for someone like you? 

You narrowed your eyes at him. 

"Where the hell am I?" Your voice came out harsher than you intended it to be. 

"At my place. Couldn't leave you pourin’ blood on the street now can I." He answered simply. 

You took a glance at your wound. It was neatly tended. 

This seemed too suspicious. 

Back then he intervened with your job and now he saved you. What the hell does this man want?! Tricking you with his kindness and giving you to the police later?! 

No fucking way. 

"Are you trying to trick me pedophile? Because I'm not falling for it." his orbs widened at your statement. 

"P-pedophile? W-what?" He stumbled on his words. Clearly startled at your sentence. 

"No. No. No. Listen. You coulda walk away right now and I wouldn't even stop you." 

You narrowed your eyes once again. 

"And why is that? You're the one who's trying to get me captured before." 

There was a short pause before he spoke. He seemed hesitant in answering at first. 

"Because... I'm not a good man myself."

And you're honestly taken aback by it. 

He looked like a lost and broken man when he said those words. It was almost too painful to watch. 

How can a man, so strong and powerful, look so broken and lost at the same time? 

Silence soon overtook the both of you. No words were spoken. No voices were heard. It felt like forever before he decided to break it. 

"You could stay here for tonight. But it's best for you to leave tomorrow." He spoke as he walked towards the window, moving the curtains slightly to peek outside. As if somebody was watching him. You just realized that his body was too tense for a normal person. Like he was constantly on guard. 

"Not planning on stayin’ any longer." you shrugged lightly. 

He glanced at you before giving a nod. And there was silence once again. 

"So... you've been in the military before?" you asked, attempting to initiate a conversation. He answered with a raise of his eyebrow. 

"Well you patched me pretty well and that stunt you pulled back in the supermarket was no joke dude." You explained. 

"Yea.. yea I have..." you could saw his expression softens. His lips turned upwards slightly. So slight that you've barely seen it. 

"I used to be a sergeant." His smile widened, eyes looked like he’s reminiscing way back into the past.

“Well that's not surprising." You snorted lightly. “So you’re not just some shitty powerful hobo then.” You murmured those words unconsciously but he heard every single bit of it. 

And he chuckled. 

Oh the sound of it. It's like the sound from the heavens. 

You found yourself smiling as well. 

It’s not like you trusted the man already. But you figured that if he’s really planning to give you away, he could’ve done that when you’re still asleep. But he didn’t. Besides, he offered a place for you to crash in. And in your current situation you couldn’t really reject it.

Not too long after that, your eyelids were already drooping. Today’s events really took a toll on your body.

"You should get a rest now, doll." He spoke, seemingly to notice the drowsiness creeping into you.

"Seriously, what's with the doll thing? You like dolls or what?" your words slurred as you felt the need to sleep was overwhelming. 

"Yea. I like them. Now just sleep." He plopped into his couch, making himself comfortable. You laughed at his response. 

"You're a funny guy you." 

"Mmmhmm." 

The two of you stayed silent for awhile. 

"Hey hobo?" 

"What?" It tickled you that he responded being called a hobo. 

"Thanks." 

It was just a simple word of gratitude but you've been contemplating on it for quite some time. Because if it wasn't for him you probably won't get into this mess. But he also saved you from the same mess you're in so you're kinda confused yourself. 

"For saving me and stuff. But... you're the reason why I needed to be saved. Gah. Honesty I don't even know what I'm sayin’ anymore. Just... thanks." You managed to say it. 

The man you expressed your gratitude to didn't reply immediately. 

One minute passed. 

Two. 

And it's three now.

You started to think that you just embarrassed yourself in front of a man you didn't even know. 

But when you decided to finally get some sleep, you could hear a faint voice, his voice saying;

"You're welcome." 

And honestly, that's all you need. 

"Good night, stranger." 

"Good night, doll." 

A smile crept into your lips. He really likes dolls huh? You should probably go and get one for him. With pink frills and ribbons all over it. Yea that's amazing. Imagine if he actually wore one. That'd be super great. 

Your thoughts became more and more weird before finally falling into a deep slumber. Your breaths came out steady and slow.

Sleeping never felt so amazing.

~*~

It's almost been an hour now since you fell asleep. But Bucky was still wide awake in his sofa. Eyes fixated solely on the ceiling.

**Just what did you do, Buck.**

**Bringing her here.**

**What if they found her with you?**

**What'd you to then?**

**No.**

**No. They won't.**

**She'll leave first thing tomorrow and nothing's gonna happen.**

**But what if they found you tonight?**

Bucky shut his eyelids as he inhaled the air sharply. The last thing he wanted to do was dragging someone else into his fucked up life. Maybe this was a mistake. Helping you back then. But he couldn't just leave you on the street. Knocked out and bleeding. He let out shaky breaths. His eyes fluttered open. And once again, the ceiling stared at him. 

He took a glance at your sleeping figure. Body heaved up and down slowly. You looked so peaceful. Nothing like when you're in the supermarket. He unconsciously smiled. The thought of the supermarket brought him back to the kiss you gave him there. He knew that was your attempt in distracting him but he couldn't help but to wonder when was the last time he did it.

Being kissed by such a beautiful dame. 

Yes. 

You're beautiful. 

Absolutely gorgeous.

When he saw your unmasked face, Bucky himself was struck with awe. Your shining (e/c) orbs that glittered with anger, your (h/c) strands that swayed ever so gently with your every move. He never knew someone so angry could look so beautiful. Bucky found himself captivated by the sight of you. 

But it also led him to another question.

What made a beautiful lady like you do such things? What so important that you injured yourself so bad you collapsed on the street? 

Bucky let out a sigh. 

No time in worrying other people's business when you're still running for your fucking life, Buck. 

He closed his eyes once again. Attempting to fall into the dreamland. The room was awfully quite. The only sound there was the steady breathing from your being. 

And Bucky found himself enjoying it. 

After living alone in such a long time, sleeping alone, eating alone, having someone beside him relieved him in so many ways. 

Because the silence could be deafening sometimes. 

Listening to the sound of your breaths and the ticking of the clock, Bucky found himself drifting away from his consciousness.

And he was asleep. 

For first time in forever.

~*~

 

Rays of sunshine illuminated your being, waking you from your deep slumber. You squinted your eyes. Hands raised, covering it from the light. 

It's morning already?! Just when you had a really good dream. You groaned inwardly.

Shifting slightly in your bed, your eyelids fluttered close again, trying to collect the shards of your interrupted dream. 

A man was wearing a pink dress with frills all over it. All the while singing and dancing to a barbie theme song. 

Hahaha very funny. 

Wait. 

Who's the man again? 

You immediately snapped your eyes open and an unfamiliar ceiling greeted your vision. You darted your eyes left and right. 

This room doesn't look like yours at all. 

What the hell...?

You stayed still for a couple of seconds. 

Oh right. 

You're currently staying at an unknown man's place.

You facepalmed yourself.

You literally just spent an entire night, sleeping in a stranger's bed and not to mention dreaming about the said man in a pink dress. 

Dancing. 

Oh God. 

Crazy things does happen, huh. 

You rubbed your eyes as you sat up on the bed. Glancing at the unknown man who was still asleep on the couch. Body moving up and down slowly. It made you felt bad for taking his bed. But what can you do? You're already there when you woke up and it'll be too much of a hassle to move. 

Okay, maybe you're just lazy. 

But the man was being a gentleman by letting you sleep on his bed! You couldn't possibly deny his offer, right? 

After several yawns and stretching your stiff body, you took the opportunity to take a good look at his room, which you haven't done yesterday. Too tired and too dark. The only thing that he turned on was the lamp on the bedside table. 

You glanced right and left. His room was quite neat for a man who's living on his own. To your left was the bedside table. With almost nothing on it except for the lamp and a single book. The middle part was separated by a single pen. 

Is that his diary? If not, what kind of book is it? You wondered what genres he's into. What's his taste in the literature world. 

Because obviously, you'd be lying to yourself if you said that you're not curious about him. 

A powerful man with a hobo like appearance, been in the military, stopping you from doing a crime but at the same time provided you a shelter when you had nowhere to go. Seriously, you couldn't wrap your head around it. 

You decided to continue your observation. The man himself was sleeping on the couch on the left corner, a small partition heading to the kitchen area not far from it. There was a simple desk in front of the bed with tv sitting ontop of it. Medium sized cupboard were placed next to the desk and a door on the right corner which you assumed led to the bathroom. A couple of laundry basket were lying in front it. 

Except for a few shirts and books lying here and there, his room could be considered tidy. 

Which you didn't expect from a shabby looking man like him. 

No no no.

He's totally handsome and all but he looked like he hasn't shaved for months? Maybe years? But he smelled great despite all of that though. Awesome even. It's like the mix of teakwood, vanilla and a little bit of mint. You could smell him everyday every time. 

.....

Did you just praise him over and over? 

Damn it (y/n) get your shit together. 

Your mind was occupied with the thoughts of him when you finally realize something crucial. 

You have to leave.

Like right now. 

The man himself said that it's best for you to leave today. A smooth way of kicking you out from his place. Not that you minded though. You're already planning on going anyway. Get out from the damned city and start anew somewhere. Even though your plan was slightly bended- well, probably a lot, you still stuck with it. You just couldn't stand living there anymore. But first, you need to grab something from your place. 

And you have to sneak past to get inside. 

Sneaking around at your own place? 

Yea sure there's a 99 percent possibility that the police already barricaded the place but you paid for that shit! And you have to sneak through for something that you spent your money on. 

Oh God. 

You threw a glare at the sleeping man. 

"If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have to do this." you whispered viciously. 

He didn't move an inch, of course. 

Sighing, you immediately stood up, taking big silent steps towards the door before stopping. 

You didn't feel right in leaving just like that. Like an ungrateful, shitty person.

But why would you care? Aren’t you are a shitty person? Why would you deny it? You robbed people, caused many damage to the population, did dirty things and now you’re trying to be decent? 

You closed your eyes shut. Trying to shake the thoughts off your head. 

You’re not that person anymore. You quit and that’s it.

But still, the nagging feeling won’t leave. Cursing yourself, you walked back to his room. Looking for something to write on. 

"A thanks or some shit will do." You grumbled under your breath. 

The book on top of the bedside table was immediately spotted the moment you entered the man's room. As if it was begging to be noticed. Your plan was to scribble a quick thanks on it and leave. Giving no thoughts about it or whatsoever. You quickly grabbed and opened the book. 

And your eyes immediately widened as ragged writings greeted your face. 

Uh oh.

It looked like your prediction was spot on.

It's his diary. 

Your orbs were already wandering through the sentences before your mind shouted;

No! 

Just write anything you planned to and leave! You're violating someone's privacy! 

But it’s a perfect time to discover a tiny bit of the mysterious man! Second chances don’t come very often!

You shuffled slightly on your feet. Chewing your lower lip, eyebrows furrowed together. 

It wouldn't hurt to just... read a little bit right? Just a little bit and you’ll be gone.

You quickly opened a random page. Fingers flicking through it rapidly. Eager to read its content. 

Once again, messy writings were seen across the page. 

_the coney island where I made Stevie rode the cyclone. It was hilarious. He threw up a lot. Like hella lot. Then-_

You flipped the page backwards. 

_This one time Steve got no option but to stuck in newspapers to his shoes-_

_We're goin' out with a couple of beautiful dames that night but Steve insisted to enlist. That punk-_

_Steve used to have a frail body. But not anymore ever since-_

_When I saw him I thought I was dreaming. The little guy from Brooklyn turned into a big guy. ___

__Who's this Steve guy? He was like in literally every page._ _

__His friend maybe?_ _

__You flipped the page randomly again, almost nearing the front of the book before stopping. You need to know more about him. Not about his Steve or anyone else._ _

__You glanced at page you opened once again._ _

__And you were left in utter shock._ _

__Chills traveled down your spine._ _

__The sentence before you was written in bold and harsh writings. Like he's putting too much pressure on every word._ _

__And there was only one line sprawled randomly on the whole page;_ _

__

**_MY NAME IS JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES._**  
**_MY NAME IS JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES._**  
**_MY NAME IS JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES._**  
**_MY NAME IS JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES._**  
**_MY NAME IS JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES._**  
**_MY NAME IS JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES._**  
**_MY NAME IS JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES._**  
**_MY NAMES IS JAMES BUCH-_**

"What're you doing?" A deep grunting voice startled you from behind.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if I remembered correctly, a fan said Sebastian smells like teakwood, vanilla and mint and I thought why not put it in the story? (hahaha you're welcome) (it's almost Seb's birthday btw! yayy!) and I hope this chapter wasn't too long? I thought of cutting it in the middle but decided not to. Please tell me what you guys think!
> 
> And also if you're reading this, You're beautiful. yes you. Just like Bucky said. Don't let other people tell you otherwise ;)
> 
> Don't forget to have a great day, my plums!
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. Your support is vital for me ^^
> 
>  
> 
> sorry for any grammatical errors and typos! Constructive critics and suggestions are always welcome!


	3. Hope

"What're you doing?" 

A deep grunting voice startled you from behind. Sending shivers down your spine. 

You instinctively closed the book shut. You could felt the hair on the back on your neck standing still. 

Turning your body ever so slowly, you found that the man himself was standing behind you. Eyes glaring holes onto the book in your hands. His face screamed danger and you felt all your strength just left your body. Stuttering, you managed to spoke. 

"I-I didn't m-mean to- you know."

He eyed you for a second before roughly snatching his book away. His expression was hard, as well as his body. You looked downwards. Focusing your gaze onto the floor. Beads of sweats started to show on your forehead. Teeth chewing your lower lip nervously. The silence seemed to stretch further and further. 

"I-I was just trying to write a thank you. Really. I'm not trying to-" you gazed upwards at him and the words stuck at the tip of your mouth. 

The expression he gave away... he looked devastated. Hurt. Shame. Guilt. You name it. 

You gulped down before squeaking out a faint "sorry" your head's hanging low. You were expecting to be showered with curses and angry shouts but no. 

"How much?" He suddenly spoke with raspy morning voice. Eyebrows furrowed deeply creating a slight crease. His expression turned even darker. 

"How much did you read?" He asked while turning his gaze back at you. Eyes sharp as a razor. 

"I only know that you have a friend named Steve and that your name is James Buchanan Barnes. That's it. That's all I know. I swear." 

You raised your hands up to your chest. After hearing your answer, his expression seemed to softened. He even looked relieved for some reason unbeknownst to you. Glancing back at his diary again, he sighed before speaking; 

"You should go now. It's not safe here." 

And you felt a huge weight was lifted from your body. It was nerve wrecking for sure. You thought he's gonna smack you for a second. 

"Am planning to." You walked to the door with him trailing behind you. 

"The name's (y/n) by the way." You halted while looking back at him. His expression told you everything. 

"Just... to get us even. It's not fair when I know your name and you don't know mine right?" 

He responded with a raised of his eyebrow, lips churned upwards slightly at the tip. 

"Well... they also call me Bucky." He spoke as he walked pass you, inserting the key to the keyhole, unlocking the door. 

"Bucky huh??" 

 

"Nice to meet you, Bucky." you grinned widely. Even his nickname had an amusing ring to it. 

"Nice to meet you too, (y/n)" he looked back at you. 

Locking his sharp blue eyes with your (e/c) ones. Those beautiful pair of aqua orbs boring into your own. You felt you could lose yourself in those captivating irises. 

Just then a series of sirens were heard from outside the building. Jolting you from your trance. Bucky seemed to notice it as well. His body tensing considerably. 

You immediately rushed back to his room, peeking from the window. 

Shit. 

It's really is the police. 

"Fuck. What do I do?!" You muttered under your breath. Your mind swirled wildly, heart thumping erratically. 

"Someone must have seen me saving you from the street last night." Bucky was already standing behind you before you knew it. Eyes fixated on the road outside. 

"Damn it, shit!" Strings of curses flew from your mouth. 

Can you escape them? Will you even make it? 

You were busily turning your brain upside down, trying to search for a solution. 

"Get in the bathroom." He suddenly spoke. 

"W-what?! N-no! I can't get you invol-" 

"Get in the bathroom now." Bucky turned his focus on to you, cutting your sentence. His tone was stern and commanding. 

Without having a better way to escape, you immediately complied. Legs running frantically to the said room before slamming the door shut. Praying that you won't get caught. Your heart was beating loudly against your ribcage. So loud that you could even heard your own heartbeat resonated through your body. Sweats started to form on your forehead. Your palm sweaty. It wasn't long before a loud bang was heard. Sounds of footsteps filling the area. 

Behind the closed door you could hear voices, conversing. 

"Where's the woman?"

"I don't know what you're talkin' about." It was Bucky's voice. You gulped down hard. Chewing your lips together. 

"Of course. Of course you don't."

What? 

What does that mean? 

After that your ears were filled with the sounds of gunshots, things breaking here and there, and several grunts. This is not what you're expecting at all. The police should have searched the area thoroughly and not just attack a random civilian. Yells and screams soon joined the commotion. 

"Get him!" 

"Fucking bastard!" 

"Don’t let him escape!" 

What? Now they're targeting him? Your mind swirled once again.

What the actual fuck? 

There was a very loud crashing noise not too long after that, so loud you could felt the room shook violently. Suddenly, the bathroom door was ripped open. You yelped loudly, obviously in shock. A furious looking Bucky was standing before it, a backpack were already hanging on his back. 

"We gotta move." his voice harsh and deep. 

"W-what?" 

"There's no time." he rushed towards you. Circling his arms around your torso and hoisted you up. It happened in a flash and you were left speechless. He carried you bridal style like the gentleman he is and dashed out. 

You finally found the reason for the loud bang you heard earlier. The bed was used to temporary seal the partition. It was crushed mercilessly to the wall. Attaching it firmly. Halting whoever was trying to get through it. Your eyes immediately widened. 

How was it possible? Did this man do it all by himself? The fuck’s happening?!

Just then a faint whirring sound entered your line of hearing. Like the sound of metal. 

And it came from the arm holding your body. 

Bucky quickly opened the window and gazed at the road. A police car was parked in front of the apartment. You stole a quick glance. 

Shit. 

It's a long way down. 

"Don't tell me we're jumping. Please." 

"We are." 

“What?! Are you fucking cra-“

Heavy banging resonated in the air. They were trying too hard to come in. The bed shook violently with every harsh contact they made. And that made you broke out in cold sweat. Realizing that, Bucky quickly tightens his grip around your body. 

"Shit! No-" 

And he jumped. 

With you screaming wildly in his arms. 

"SHIT! SHIIIIT!" 

You closed your eyes shut. 

You didn't sign up for this! You obviously didn't! 

Before you knew it the both of you already landed on the ground with a loud thump. Your body shook at the contact, his arm however, still holding you firmly in place. You peeked ever so slowly and-

Holy shit. 

The ground beneath his feet... cracked. 

In a quick move, Bucky shoved you into the passenger seat. You still couldn’t believe your eyes as he entered the car in a haste. Closing the door roughly. Bucky was beyond thankful that the engine was left on with the keys. 

The car roared before finally blasting through the roads. Sirens were on throughout your run. Sinking in the passenger seat, you finally had the time to catch your breath. 

"Okay. Okay. What the fuck just happened?!" You half screamed to the man beside you, whose eyes were fixated solely on the road. 

"Aren't those guys policemen?! What the actual fuck are they doing?! And why are they after you?! Shit! What the fuck is happening?!" Your words frantic, heart still beating loudly. 

"They are not the police." 

What did this man just say? 

"What?! Then why do they have this fucking car here that we- I mean you just stole?!"

Bucky only gave you a look that said shutupforfucksakei'mdrivinghere and you let out an annoyed huff. 

"Fine. But you still need to explain it to me after this." You folded your hands together in an almost childish way. Head still filled with so many unanswered questions. 

But wait a minute. Didn't he just jump from who knows how many stories high his room is? 

And his legs. 

They're still able to drive. 

You unconsciously stared at his thighs. They looked... surprisingly fine and healthy? 

Too healthy even. 

Those damn thighs of betrayal. 

"Your legs... they're okay?" 

"Yeah." 

"You sure? Cause you just jumped that high and-" 

"It's fine." 

"Dude maybe we should go to a hospital first. I don't think-" 

"I said it’s fine." he insisted in a harsh tone, startling you. 

"Okay okay jeez. I'm just worried about you, you know?! Don't get so worked up and shit." 

He once again didn't reply. Hands gripping hard at the steering wheel. Silence soon overtook the both of you. The siren still blasting loudly in the air. You let out a sigh and started searching for the turn off button. And you wondered why did you even try to in the first place. You didn't even know which button it is. 

"Damn it. This thing is too loud." 

"We have to leave it somewhere." 

"I know that" you snorted. 

"Just to remind you I'm not an innocent little girl who's dreaming for a prince in a white horse. I'm a criminal, Jane" 

"James." 

"Yeah James.” You paused.

“ And you just saved my life twice so... I think you deserve another thanks." 

"No... No I don't." he answered in a low voice. 

**Because I just dragged you into the hell I'm livin' in.**

"Hm? Why not?" And he was silent once again. You scrunched your lips downwards. 

"I’m still sayin' it whether you think you deserve it or not. Thanks Bucky." 

He pursed his lips together. Hands gripping tighter. He didn't say anything, no. Eyes still focused on the road. But a little part of him just died when you thanked him so innocently. 

Like he was a hero, a savior. 

**If only she knew the things I've done. If only she knew what she's gettin' herself into.**

Bucky gave a quick glance at your direction. You were looking sideways towards the window. Looking at the way everything just swooped pass you. 

**You can't get her involved, Buck. Not her not anyone.**

 

And with that, your journey was spent in complete silence. The two of you agreed that the car was too loud and could be recognized anytime now. After all it was a stolen police car. Either the police or the men before would end up finding you two if you don't quickly dump it somewhere. 

After abandoning the car, Bucky and you started to search for a place to crash and something to eat. Your stomach was already grumbling loudly. You immediately placed a hand on top of it. Bucky turned himself to look at you, eyes glittered with amusement. 

"Hungry aren't you, doll?" 

"Well for your information, mister. I didn't eat anything since last night. Of course I'm damn hungry." You grumbled. 

"Let's fix that then." He spoke as his expression softened. The two of you settled for a small, not too crowded restaurant. Not wanting any extra attention because you are a wanted criminal now after all even if you're not that famous. Plus the both of you silently agreed that you surely didn't want those men back. 

Munching down your surprisingly delicious meal even when it's only a classic cheeseburger with fries, you eyed the man sitting in front of you. 

What on earth is he? 

You knew that he certainly was not an ordinary man. 

But what kind? You wanted to know. You needed to know. 

And he being so damn attractive under those unkempt mahogany hair didn't help either. 

You took a sip of the coke before noticing his gloved hand. Which he used for eating his food. People usually eat this things bare handed right? So why is he...? 

It took seconds for him to realize your stare. He retracted his left hand and placed it uncomfortably on his thighs. Face hardened. 

Shit. Now you feel guilty. 

"Sorry." You said after gulping down. Eyes casted down, Bucky only muttered "don't sweat it" and continued eating. The situation turning awkward so fast. 

You cleared your throat after finishing your meal. "You know... you still owe me an explanation." 

His plate was already clean too. He didn't respond immediately. Orbs still gazing at the non existent meal before him. 

"I know." You hummed approvingly. Satisfied by his answer. 

"But is it necessary?" You snapped your attention to him. 

"What?" 

He gazed at you. Straight through your orbs. 

"If I told you, maybe... maybe there's no turnin' back. You don't have to be involved in my life. You can’t." he huffed loudly. Eyes fluttered close before opening them again. 

"It's not too late to turn back now. Return to your own life. Go back to the way everything used to be." He knew perfectly well that those words flying off his mouth were directed to none other than himself. Convincing _himself_ that it's not too late. 

"And pretend that any of this didn't happen? Yea right." You cut him off. Eyes returning his own gaze. 

"Aren't you lying to yourself? Like hell we can turn back like that." 

You shorten the gap between the two of you. Body leaning towards him. 

"Those guys whoever the fuck they are, already saw me being with you. And you think that we can still part without being too late? I know how things work out, James. Once they saw me lingering around they'll find a way to capture and question me. And if. If your presence was meant to be hidden then they'll probably gonna kill me for not knowing anything or to silence me. Either way it's not pretty." 

Bucky's lip was shut tight in a thin line. His mouth couldn't form any words. 

"And the cops probably know that I'm with you too. Or they wouldn't have come to the apartment in the first place. Although those fuckers were the ones that showed up." You paused for a second 

"It's already too late the moment you stepped in to stop me back in the supermarket." 

It felt like reality slapped him square on the face. Like cold water, splashed onto his face harshly. 

He knew. 

He already knew that. 

Bucky pursed his lips. Eyes narrowed. Everything you said were right. But he didn't want to believe it. Not when other people's life was involved. 

"So I say we open up to each other. Just enough to know what the fuck's goin' on. I won't pry into your past or anything if you don't want to. And I'll share my piece of story too, so that we can expect what's coming to us. We can still do this you know." 

 

"Everybody deserves a second chance." 

Your orbs held a steady gaze. Unwavering. Calm but definitely not weak. A blaze was lit inside of it. Ready to take on the world. 

And your eyes sparked something in Bucky’s heart.

Hope.

Hope for the future.

Hope that he could still live. Free from the chains of his past.

 

And he found himself believing in your words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE! Uni life and whatsoever is so hectic that I didn't have the time to update this series. 
> 
> Enough with the excuses, anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Please leave a comment for future ideas maybe? I would love to read what you guys think about this chapter/ series in particular!
> 
> As always I hope you guys have a great day!
> 
>  
> 
> sorry for any grammatical errors and typos! Constructive critics and suggestions are always welcome!


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